Thoughts on a Long Gone Friend (Monologue)

9 comments

(This will have nothing to do with anime. Just ignore this post if that bothers you)

I’m not good with change.

Seeing shops and stores get shut down and replaced with other establishements get me nervous. I feel nostalgic for what was once there. Seeing the dissonance between reality and my memories simply doesn’t sit right with me.

And the same goes for people.

It’s been 10 days since the accident, but I’ve been thinking about you every day ever since I first heard about it. What always pops into my head, above all else, is one specific memory from high school.

My parents would pick me up after JV Football practice since they didn’t want me to hike my way up a hill to walk home. I think you had a similar situation going on, too, since you were waiting for a ride. But we offered to take you to Jamba Juice and you said yes. We dropped you off at Jamba Juice and then we parted ways.

That Jamba Juice is gone now. It’s been shut down and converted into a Starbucks. I miss it. And I miss you.

I’ve cried several times the past few weeks while driving. Just remembering your voice whenever you called me “Fu” was enough to get me. I really did hate how people called me by my last name because it just showed that they didn’t care enough to try to learn the differences between my twin brother and me. But if it meant you were still alive, I would have gladly accepted everyone calling me “Fu” for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it to your memorial tomorrow. I have a job to do in LA. But you’ll forever be in my thoughts, my friend.

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9 comments on “Thoughts on a Long Gone Friend (Monologue)”

  1. I’m completely silent here after reading such a post. Wow. I think that whatever I write here, is not enough to express how deeply sorry I am for your loss. So I am not even going to try and attempt to do that.
    All I can say is that I hope you are doing allright. Please take good care of yourself as well. As someone who can’t accept change very easily either, especially when dealing with losing friends or things you love, I know how you must feel (and also don’t, because a loss like this nobody will be able feel as deeply as you do). I think it is very brave of you to share so personal a post, and I admire you for that.
    As mentioned take care, and Lethargic Ramblings made a perfect comment : we are here to support you.

    Liked by 1 person

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